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[May. 19th, 2007|11:12 am] |
Tania Derveaux is ready to give out 40,000 blowjobs to men that vote for her in the next Belgian election. Tania is currently the leading (of course) NEE party senate candidate. Tania says she will take a 500-day tour around the world and blow dudes every single day. That's about 80 dicks a day!
In order to receive a oral tongue bath from Tania you have to be 18 or older, wear a condom and Tania can deny you for any reason. She said, "We adhere to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 5 minutes."
Rules, rules, rules! Her jaw will most likely fall off by dick 200. Tania doesn't realize how much nasty wang there is out there. Trust me, I've come across some. Cheese sandwich.
The next Belgian election is June 5th and at least 40,000 votes are needed to start a political group.
That's my kind of campaign! Hey! That means Paris Hilton could run for senate in Belgium! She's probably several thousand ahead of Tania! There's a future for that twat after all! |
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[May. 19th, 2007|11:09 am] |
During Pamela's one-day trip to Cannes she's been dragging some tall guy around. Knowing Pamela she probably met him on the plane, screwed him in the bathroom, had his baby in a cab and married him in town. I think they are probably divorced now!
funny dlisted. |
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[Jun. 24th, 2006|08:35 pm] |
i've moved. www.livejournal.com/users/yes_architect
this coming wed:change on the outside to feel better about not changing on this inside. |
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[Jun. 14th, 2006|09:51 pm] |
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ok...now i really want it which means i won't get it. |
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[Jun. 14th, 2006|09:41 pm] |
i still havent heard back from the casting that i went to a long time ago. i'm not too worried because i don't want it that bad. its not something im really excited about but it woudl be cool to do. And i think it usually takes a long time for people to reply for bigger projects because for paper they didn't contact us for about a month after they first met with us.
i'm really excited that its going to be a bi-coastal thing and the expenses would go to production. Which means free trips to california and back. And they are building whole sets for it. Its going to be like a movie but without the video part. And i will get to wear cool clothes and ride in really fucking cool cars. and fucking BE IN A BOOK. not a magazine. because magazines come and go but books you can buy forever and will probably keep for a long time. i doubt i will be the main character but who the fuck cares if the cast is only like...5 people.
man, if they ever have a final fantasy movie i REALLY want to be a character...along side devon aoki cause you know they will for sure cast her. And probably that chick who was in that crouching tiger movie. and maybe that girl from transporter....but not lucy liu. shes too old. give me a padded bra and i'll have the right body for it. |
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[Jun. 14th, 2006|09:23 pm] |
Why is the world cup the coolest thing ever? because people...no matter where they are from or how old they are or any other such factors.... go bonkers over it. and when a game is on people from all over the world ALL OVER go crazy at the same time when someone does something fantastic.
its like being at a knicks game on a much bigger scale.
Tommorrow at 3pm its germany against poland and i want to watch it so bad!
no offense brazil but i hope you dont win even though you will. the world cup is much more exciting when you dont know which team is going to win.
i know nothing about the teams. i pick teams i like based on how much i like the actual country...and the men of these countries.
what i do know:
-englands enemies are france, germany and argentina(?). i think its argentina or maybe portugal or something. i guess one year this unknown latin american country cheated and won because they cheated. i dunno.
-brazil will win
tomorrow is mikes bday! YES YES YES YES YES. he's finally a grown up!!!! YES YES YES YES YES. i wont have to feel like im way older than him
when mike was away i got a lot accomplished and i became very independent. Now that he is back i've become mid-independent because its so easy to let him help me out. at least i know that if im ever single again i will be able to take care of myself. but im really glad that i wont have to because he makes me so fucking happy and makes my life a lot lot lot easier |
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[Jun. 13th, 2006|09:10 pm] |
im so whiny lately. and actually i dont really feel like new york city is that bad. its actually really nice and i was having problems with what im currently doing. but i do still really want to get out of here even though i know im lucky to be here. but the only time im really happy being here or dont feel like i want to or need to leave is when im with michael.
i bought louis vuitton sunglasses today and 2 toys from kid robot. and im still sick. |
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[Jun. 12th, 2006|09:29 pm] |
i want to get out of here so bad. a year ago i probably would have left at the very first craving. i would have just called my mom and said, "can i go to ...?" Because traveling is such a great learning experience she would have said yes. It benefits me. There is no negative when it comes to traveling except financial negatives. Which I am lucky enough to not have to worry about as much as others. And by my second craving...which usually comes a day after my first craving...I would be on an airplane.
Its been less than a year since I last travelled. I think the last place I went to was Prague. I'm not sure. A year isn't too much time i guess but it really really really is. I use to be in a different country practically every two months since I was born. Sometimes i would be gone for a week, sometimes a month, and sometimes just two days or so. I grew up with that lifestyle and that need to be somewhere new. And I think Sagitarians (is that a word?) are the type who want to go from one place to another all the time...I think i read that in an astrology book once....maybe im makign that up.
I love traveling even more than clothes.
im trying so hard to be responsible. And i always think that im young and i should be out enjoying myself now while im responsibility free but im not responsibility free and i dont think i ever was...i just never realized i had so many things to take care of. and i was never driven enough. so instead of going someplace this summer im going to stay in new york and complain about how much i hate it here and how badly i want to go to barcelona again...or even just england. |
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[Jun. 12th, 2006|08:54 pm] |
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new york has lost its magic for me. |
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[Jun. 10th, 2006|04:57 pm] |
Whatwonderfulnews:
ENG VS PAR 1:0
!!!!!!!!!
I'm sick with bronchitis so i stayed home all day, pigged out on crab cakes, and was going crazy being inside so mike and i went to barnes and noble and strand and later watched a movie. The movie ended at 2am. At 4 am we went to the new mac store and now I CANT WAIT FOR THE INTEL G5 TO COME OUT so i can buy it already. The quad is so fucking beautiful.
the apartment is still a mess and i have little energy to clean it but i really must because i can't keep living like this.
i bought a book yesterday that is going to change my life.
i've been looking all over for tim walkers issue of stern/spezial fotografie but it is no where to be found. WTF
and finally...
starting from today my life is going to change and this excites me more than the prospect of moving to germany. Because I was getting terribly bored being here in new york city. It is quite a dull place with only a few tolerable people and even less cool people. The architecture is boring and i dont want my special thing to be staten island or the empire state building. How boring. I realize I'm incredibly lucky to be here, doing what im doing, living where I'm living but like always I want more because I havent found what I really wanted to find here.
What I really don't like is that this place is overcrowded. its not very glamorous to me anymore. I like that its very much ecclectic here but its become too dark and too grungy for me. There is no culture. There is no culture in the sense that all the street art is gone, all the artists are hibernating or moving, the younger generation seems to be lacking in enthusiasm. All that is left are a few skateboarders, lots of cops, and the high class art scene...the kind I cant afford. Anais Nin said "we dont see things as they are, we see them as we are." which is probably true which means I need to do something with myself to change this negative new york. I thought my solution was to move but i really need to just change.
one thing that I like very much is that for a few days now, right outside my window a man practices trumpet. And while it sounds horrible, its really quite comforting in an odd way. like he is saying, "i feel comfortable practicing my shitty trumpet in front of all of you because in new york we are family" or something cheesy like that.
i saw the guy from boondock saints yesterday and i nearly died because i use to have the BIGGEST crush on him. |
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