2.0

Sat, 19 May 2007 15:12:37 GMT

Tania Derveaux is ready to give out 40,000 blowjobs to men that vote for her in the next Belgian election. Tania is currently the leading (of course) NEE party senate candidate. Tania says she will take a 500-day tour around the world and blow dudes every single day. That's about 80 dicks a day!

In order to receive a oral tongue bath from Tania you have to be 18 or older, wear a condom and Tania can deny you for any reason. She said, "We adhere to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 5 minutes."

Rules, rules, rules! Her jaw will most likely fall off by dick 200. Tania doesn't realize how much nasty wang there is out there. Trust me, I've come across some. Cheese sandwich.

The next Belgian election is June 5th and at least 40,000 votes are needed to start a political group.

That's my kind of campaign! Hey! That means Paris Hilton could run for senate in Belgium! She's probably several thousand ahead of Tania! There's a future for that twat after all!

Sat, 19 May 2007 15:09:54 GMT

During Pamela's one-day trip to Cannes she's been dragging some tall guy around. Knowing Pamela she probably met him on the plane, screwed him in the bathroom, had his baby in a cab and married him in town. I think they are probably divorced now!

funny dlisted.

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 00:38:19 GMT

i've moved. www.livejournal.com/users/yes_architect

this coming wed:change on the outside to feel better about not changing on this inside.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:53:47 GMT

ok...now i really want it which means i won't get it.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:52:30 GMT

i still havent heard back from the casting that i went to a long time ago. i'm not too worried because i don't want it that bad. its not something im really excited about but it woudl be cool to do. And i think it usually takes a long time for people to reply for bigger projects because for paper they didn't contact us for about a month after they first met with us.

i'm really excited that its going to be a bi-coastal thing and the expenses would go to production. Which means free trips to california and back. And they are building whole sets for it. Its going to be like a movie but without the video part. And i will get to wear cool clothes and ride in really fucking cool cars. and fucking BE IN A BOOK. not a magazine. because magazines come and go but books you can buy forever and will probably keep for a long time. i doubt i will be the main character but who the fuck cares if the cast is only like...5 people.

man, if they ever have a final fantasy movie i REALLY want to be a character...along side devon aoki cause you know they will for sure cast her. And probably that chick who was in that crouching tiger movie. and maybe that girl from transporter....but not lucy liu. shes too old. give me a padded bra and i'll have the right body for it.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:42:22 GMT

Why is the world cup the coolest thing ever? because people...no matter where they are from or how old they are or any other such factors.... go bonkers over it. and when a game is on people from all over the world ALL OVER go crazy at the same time when someone does something fantastic.

its like being at a knicks game on a much bigger scale.

Tommorrow at 3pm its germany against poland and i want to watch it so bad!

no offense brazil but i hope you dont win even though you will. the world cup is much more exciting when you dont know which team is going to win.

i know nothing about the teams. i pick teams i like based on how much i like the actual country...and the men of these countries.

what i do know:

-englands enemies are france, germany and argentina(?). i think its argentina or maybe portugal or something. i guess one year this unknown latin american country cheated and won because they cheated. i dunno.

-brazil will win

tomorrow is mikes bday! YES YES YES YES YES. he's finally a grown up!!!! YES YES YES YES YES. i wont have to feel like im way older than him

when mike was away i got a lot accomplished and i became very independent. Now that he is back i've become mid-independent because its so easy to let him help me out. at least i know that if im ever single again i will be able to take care of myself. but im really glad that i wont have to because he makes me so fucking happy and makes my life a lot lot lot easier

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 01:14:55 GMT

im so whiny lately. and actually i dont really feel like new york city is that bad. its actually really nice and i was having problems with what im currently doing. but i do still really want to get out of here even though i know im lucky to be here. but the only time im really happy being here or dont feel like i want to or need to leave is when im with michael.

i bought louis vuitton sunglasses today and 2 toys from kid robot. and im still sick.

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 01:45:20 GMT

i want to get out of here so bad. a year ago i probably would have left at the very first craving. i would have just called my mom and said, "can i go to ...?" Because traveling is such a great learning experience she would have said yes. It benefits me. There is no negative when it comes to traveling except financial negatives. Which I am lucky enough to not have to worry about as much as others. And by my second craving...which usually comes a day after my first craving...I would be on an airplane.

Its been less than a year since I last travelled. I think the last place I went to was Prague. I'm not sure. A year isn't too much time i guess but it really really really is. I use to be in a different country practically every two months since I was born. Sometimes i would be gone for a week, sometimes a month, and sometimes just two days or so. I grew up with that lifestyle and that need to be somewhere new. And I think Sagitarians (is that a word?) are the type who want to go from one place to another all the time...I think i read that in an astrology book once....maybe im makign that up.

I love traveling even more than clothes.

im trying so hard to be responsible. And i always think that im young and i should be out enjoying myself now while im responsibility free but im not responsibility free and i dont think i ever was...i just never realized i had so many things to take care of. and i was never driven enough. so instead of going someplace this summer im going to stay in new york and complain about how much i hate it here and how badly i want to go to barcelona again...or even just england.

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 00:57:21 GMT

new york has lost its magic for me.

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 21:23:25 GMT

Whatwonderfulnews:

ENG VS PAR 1:0

!!!!!!!!!

I'm sick with bronchitis so i stayed home all day, pigged out on crab cakes, and was going crazy being inside so mike and i went to barnes and noble and strand and later watched a movie. The movie ended at 2am. At 4 am we went to the new mac store and now I CANT WAIT FOR THE INTEL G5 TO COME OUT so i can buy it already. The quad is so fucking beautiful.

the apartment is still a mess and i have little energy to clean it but i really must because i can't keep living like this.

i bought a book yesterday that is going to change my life.
i've been looking all over for tim walkers issue of stern/spezial fotografie but it is no where to be found. WTF

and finally...
starting from today my life is going to change and this excites me more than the prospect of moving to germany. Because I was getting terribly bored being here in new york city. It is quite a dull place with only a few tolerable people and even less cool people. The architecture is boring and i dont want my special thing to be staten island or the empire state building. How boring. I realize I'm incredibly lucky to be here, doing what im doing, living where I'm living but like always I want more because I havent found what I really wanted to find here.

What I really don't like is that this place is overcrowded. its not very glamorous to me anymore. I like that its very much ecclectic here but its become too dark and too grungy for me. There is no culture. There is no culture in the sense that all the street art is gone, all the artists are hibernating or moving, the younger generation seems to be lacking in enthusiasm. All that is left are a few skateboarders, lots of cops, and the high class art scene...the kind I cant afford. Anais Nin said "we dont see things as they are, we see them as we are." which is probably true which means I need to do something with myself to change this negative new york. I thought my solution was to move but i really need to just change.

one thing that I like very much is that for a few days now, right outside my window a man practices trumpet. And while it sounds horrible, its really quite comforting in an odd way. like he is saying, "i feel comfortable practicing my shitty trumpet in front of all of you because in new york we are family" or something cheesy like that.

i saw the guy from boondock saints yesterday and i nearly died because i use to have the BIGGEST crush on him.

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 22:13:29 GMT

i just bought lost season 2 for my ipod...the ipod i dont own. 37 dollars well spent. michael comes home tomorrow and is leaving japan in 5 hours. i wont see him until 7 tomorrow. oh, i cant wait. its been much to long. he wants to come home so bad. and i want to leave so bad. its too humid to clean or think or get anything done. i wish i was in russia.

i wish i had candy. there is a party tonight on the rooftop/pool of the gansevoort and a cute coworker will be there so i must go but i wont bc everyone is still away and while i would normally be okay with going to a party alone...i think i really need someone to go with me to party with coworkers. to save me from awkard conversations and having people think they need to stay and talk to me bc im alone or wahtever.

ive just finished Frida and Pollack and have come to realize that i have never been an artist and will never be a good artist because ive had too good of a life.

Wed, 31 May 2006 03:39:57 GMT

you can see the enlarged versions here:
http://www.hollywoodrag.com/index.php?/weblog/comments/paris_hilton_and_her_music_video_hunk/

Wed, 31 May 2006 03:39:03 GMT

im totally addicted to the rag.

and today this is what i found:

I believe just before the last pix, she just told the Model dude, that she has herpes. In the pix he replied by kicking her in the nuts.

Additionally, why does she keep blowing him in the video? Will this version be airing on TRL for all her fans?

im still laughing.

this is my last post about reinventing my style

Tue, 30 May 2006 03:14:12 GMT

i also want to go to dior homme and buy this black and white collard long sleeve shirt and wear it buttoned up all the way to the top with black skinny jeans and christian louboutin heels. ugh. im such a loser. i wish i could stop this nonsense i dont have enough room in my closet or money in my pocket.

this is my final post about my hair

Tue, 30 May 2006 03:10:21 GMT

i kept telling people i was going to dye my hair blonde....FOR SURE. but then i went to the hair dresser and they told me they would have to cut it super short so it wont be orange and splotchy because i've dyed my hair recently with permanent color and apparantly hair turns orange if you try to bleach it and you've dyed it recently with permanent color. And i thought about it...and i like having super short hair...but i dont want short short hair now. maybe later. so i just got a rush haircut without dying because i'm going to wait for it to grow out a bit more and then dye it. so if you dont like that haircut and color...you still have time to convince me not to do it. although, i have to say...i really love it and it will be hard to convince me not to do it.

i also want to get dorky glasses. but that might be going overboard.

a part of me wants to reinvent my style.

Tue, 30 May 2006 03:03:30 GMT

oh you toyko hipster....i wish i had your hair.

Tue, 30 May 2006 03:02:20 GMT

my plans to go blonde and short have been put off because i was too impatient to change my hair and went to the hair dresser and spent too much money and so now i have to wait til i get really bored of this hair cut before i can spend another million dollars on a dye job and hair cut.

this is the exact hair i wanted before i impatiently rushed to get my hair cut. i just happen to stumble on it when i was randomly searching things on google:

i wanted to go blonde and long with blunt bangs but i think that would be 1. too expensive and 2. to similar to gwen.

Tue, 30 May 2006 01:38:02 GMT

i actually cleaned today and though its not completely cleaned, i love it! it feels like my home now! (After 6 months)

Mon, 29 May 2006 18:54:47 GMT

i hate summers in ny. its too hot and gross. winter is much better. i can't wait for it to be cool again.
complain complain

Mon, 29 May 2006 16:17:54 GMT

from what ive seen, paris is a horrible person. and quite ugly and annoying.

but i really like her songs...

Mon, 29 May 2006 03:08:00 GMT

there isnt anything exciting in my life except that I live in New York which doesn't count because all I do is stay in with my dogs or walk around and skip parties with peter and/or zach.

maybe its time to leave or maybe I just need to go shopping again.

Peter models and he was recently photographed for a spread in Esquire. He wore his own clothes because the photographer liked his style. Now he is going to get credit in the magazine for it and Esquire stylist business cards which means free clothes. So he is offically becoming a mens stylist. Which means he will now be a photographer, a model, a stylist, and an illustrator.

This got me thinking. I've always wanted to be a stylist or a fashion designer or something in the industry. I chose photography because I thought I'd get more control over everything but I've realized that there are art directors and stylists and editors that do all of that. So maybe, with the help and talent of Peter, we can start a creative talent company. That way I'll get paid to do what i thought I, as a photographer, was suppose to do. It can't be too difficult. I grew up with magazines and fashion and lots and lots of Mario Testino and later on Nylon. I speak of buying superfluous things as if it were a necessary part of life. And I get compliments on those unnecessary things practically everyday. Also, with the right photographer, models look good in just about anything and everything. I guess I"m tooting my own horn here, but I think I can do it. maybe not make it so big that Patti Wilson will be begging me for fashion advice. But big enough to live comfortably.

Michael is coming home in a week. Everyone has left for the hamptons or california and Im here by myself. I have no one to hang out with and im bored out of my mind. I keep promising I will clean my apartment and i cancel plans or deny plans with friends so I can clean but I never clean and my place is a mess and I end up going out to shop or i end up watching old dvds.

I wish michael would come back already so we can go to mongolian and so I can drink the baileys without feeling like such a lonely loser. also, i want sushi.

yesterday i was walking around town with my nipple straight up hanging out of my dress. all day. and not one person said a damn thing. and then i went to the supermarket and dropped a glass bottle and then (after i had discovered my boob was hanging out and put it back in) my boob popped out again right when the glass dropped and everyone turned their head. I wasn't too embarassed. I just felt bad that I made a mess and kind of dumb that my boob was hanging out and i didnt notice.

michael michael michael michael michael. letsgotomongoliannow. i want mongolian. i am hungry for fucking mongolian. yummy mongolian. all i have to eat are sick twisters.

Mon, 29 May 2006 02:45:05 GMT

there is a stalker with a knife and im scared out of my mind.

Mon, 22 May 2006 22:07:14 GMT

there is a blender party that i would be a fool not to go to. i guess im a fool.

Mon, 22 May 2006 21:48:44 GMT

peter, zach, charlotte and i rented a car and went to ocean city md for crabs yesterday. when we got there we pigged out and stole some crabs and did random things with them. we wanted to leave one in a mustang clutching onto the wheel but we didnt. it was the nicest roadtrip ive been on in a long time and also the longest ive ever driven for food. it was like harold and kumar goes to white castle except we weren't high and all we wanted were crabs not burgers if you can call them that. three out of four of us forgot our cameras and we are all photographers. our priorities were purely food related. and we listened to a lot of corny music.

we also got more change than we were suppose to get from the restaurant so we went miniture golfing and i was losing by a lot until the very last hole where i got a hole in one and a free game. i was the only one who got the hole in one and it was supper hard cause you had to get it in this little crack. god was on my side.

and the beach was incredible. it was super nice to goet out of the city. our mini vacation.

Fri, 19 May 2006 15:31:43 GMT

oh, and when i said "I wish I was 40% skinnier, 25% taller, and 40% prettier" that was not a cry for compliments. really.